Deadliest Catch

I'm obsessed with this show. I just started watching it last week. Are there nursing jobs in Alaska so I could travel there and date some crab fishermen? No? Okay then.

I'm pretty sure that if I was a greenhorn, I'd be one of the ones they have to take back to port due to a psychotic break.

Things I would say on a crab boat (which would get me laughed off):

Is there any bottled water? I need to wash the salt off my face.
I've been working for eight hours. I need my thirty-minute break and my two fifteen-minute breaks now.
Do these rain coats come in any color other than orange?
I'm going to go take another shower. A crab touched my skin.
Could you smoke somewhere else?
I cut my finger. Where's the report of injury form for OSHA?
I think I'm going to just hang out with the captain in the little room for a while.
What time do we clock out for the day?
I'll be back in a few minutes. I have to go rewet my contact lenses.
I'm really tired/thirsty/hungry/having to pee/etc.
I'm not touching those crab. They're moving!
I'm not crawling into the pot to set the bait! Way too dangerous.
Do we have any more healthy options for meals?
Could everyone please wash their bedding today? It smells nasty in here.
I need at least seven hours of sleep per day. Please don't disturb me.
Is my mascara running?
Everyone stop! My contact fell out!
Desperate Housewives is on at 8. I'm not missing it.
Watch it with those pots. I'm trying to send a text message.
I brought my camera! Let's take some amusing photos! You, pretend like that crab's killing you! (I would seriously do this one. I'm a crazy girl with the camera).
I broke a nail! Or, I chipped my polish!
Does anyone have any chapstick?

The list could go on...